Weird Ebay Auctions

Heres more of the stupid ebay auctions that people come up with.  All you need to do is click on the picture and you will be linked to the Ebay Page:

This cotton swab is currently at $45 Why God, Why?

This guy isa tryint to sell his whole marriage and apparently its worth about a buck

This is a piece of freakin Fish....For Sale...Horrendous

This is just plain Scary

BANK OF AMERICA SUX WEBPAGE

There is an entire webpage dedicated to how much this bank sucks.  They have horrible customer service and are complete A-Holes.

Bank America would rather have 1000’s of angry customers, then help those same customers that pay there bills.  Please note that i know who is responsible here and it is not the everyday tellers at these banks.  I do know that managers at these bastard banks have the authority to overide fees but they usually tend to be Stuck up blond bitches.

FUCK BANK OF AMERICA

I hate Bank of America and let me explaine myself.  I think they along with many banks out there are just pieces of shit bastarsd who ROB the genreal population.  The thing I am referring to is called the ever popular OVERDRAFT FEE.  Now let me tell you a bit about an overdraft fee and particularly the one that happpened with me and Bank of America.  I had an overdraft fee for a charge that came through and I told them that I would happy to pay for the actual item but that i refused to pay for the $35.00 overdraft fee which is more then the actual item.  The item I overdrafted was I beleive only overdrafted by .38 cents.  They told me that they were unwilling to reverse it so i told them i was unwilling to pay it.  this resulted in several more overdrafts from charges that I had preset in my account.  Now I am sitting on over 7 overdraft charges, all for items that wer not actually paid, and B of A expects that I will all of a sudden be willing to pay for these charges.  How about you go F yourseld B of A!  Here is a letter I wrote them today, this is one of many::

HAHAHAHA you think a collections agency bothers me? They can’t do a damn thing to me let alone get me to pay you! You will never see your money, i promise you that, and the reason is because asking for it is criminal.  You are criminals for charging 35.00 overdraft fees. CRI-MIN-ALS.  So close the account that’s fine.  I’m saying that very easily you could have let me pay what I owed and kept an otherwise happy customer.  Is the overdraft fees you’ve assessed worth all of the bad press I promise to give to your company for FREE?  Do you know how much bad press could effect you?  even if I managed to get to 5 people ( I PROMISE I WILL GET MORE) who were considering banking with you, do you understand your loss?  So keep the account and keep you fees. I’m just saying that by easily taking away the fees and letting me pay what I fairly owe, you could have stopped this whole thing. You are aware the regular joes have the ability to make websites now right?  Websites with anything in them that they please right?  Thanks for your help and I wish your company all the best!

Bank of America FUCK YOU! I plan on trying to get as many future customers to not go to you as possible because of your horrible customer service and Shitty ideals.

THINK ITS JUST ME?  Go here to see the 1000’s of people that HATE B of A:

http://www.bankofamericasux.com/

WHy Daddy Drinks

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands
and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But
I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am.

But it’s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we
will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt
anyone.We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people
that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday
I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Love,

Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that’s in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.

Can you tell the difference between a shemale and a female?

Allright this is a little bit scary but still pretty funny….as long as I NEVER EVER have to be put in the actual position of wondering. Go here:

http://joeschwartz.net/shemale/index.html

Where do you work?

Cell Phone Text translations

Okay so I dont know about you but I do a lot of texting. Cause who really wants to talk on the phone. To me, unless its an emergency, and even then, anything that you need to say can be taken care of through text. However, when I text my girlfriend I often find mysel writing texts that sound pretty lame until after I revise them. You cant look like a big wimp to your special lady. heres a few examples:

1st Draft:

2nd Draft:

1st draft:

2nd draft:

And then sometimes you have to redo your messages so she wont get mad. Thats the best. heres some examples:

1st draft:

2nd draft:

Other Crazy Ebay Auctions

HA HA Click on the picture to get to the auction

Leftover sausage that looks like fingers:

And then some people try and do the stupid empty can thing and nothing happens:

Selling a dollar?  Again stupid but even more stupid are the people bidding:

WTF! Empty Cheetos bag going for almost $100.00

What the hell? Crazy E-bay Auctions

Anyone ever bid on one of these mystery auctions?  This guy does it about 2x a month and I just dont fucking get it.  This empty Dr. Pepper can is now being bid at $535.00 .  He must be selling dope with it cause this is ridiculous even for America.  Go ahead check the link:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=350069317015#ebayphotohosting

I JUST DON’T GET IT!

PLAYA STYLE